Remembrance

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'Alā bi dhikri llāhi tatma'in al-qulūb'
'Surely, is it not through remembrance of Allah that hearts feel at peace?'

Recently in Karachi  I was blessed with the opportunity to join with a women's halaqa where I met with close friends and others for a dhikr. At the beginning I shared with everyone a message from my father, Shaykh Fadhlalla Haeri. The transcript follows:

"Our life on earth is a transition; it is a work in progress. It is for that reason nothing whatsoever will be enough for us. There is no situation or state in which anyone can say they are fully content. It is not true.

Nothing will ever be fully done or completed, either in terms of rationality or otherwise, unless you are at all times connecting to your soul, connecting your mind, memory, rationality and intentions with your soul - which is the nur of Allah. Your soul is the nur of Allah.

So until this resonance takes place you will be in a constant state of guilt, error, and self-reproach. If you remember that which is from beyond memory, from before memory - the Qur'anic ayah tells us 'Was there not a time where you were a thing not to be mentioned?'

There was a time when your ruh preceded the manifestation of your physical body. and this is who we are: we are a ruh. And this ruh is in exile within the body for a while.  And the purpose is for the so-called individual who is a mixture between past, mind, biography and the nur of Allah is to go back to world of lights.  If it is ready, it goes straight to the lights. If it is not it goes through a little bit of turbulence, whether it be hell or paradise.

So the purpose of salat, of dhikr,  of 'ibada, mostly come to the same point: of being completely - by will - thoughtless [without wandering thoughts], neutral, but present, light in the moment. Whatever we practise, even reading Qur'an, will take us along a terrain that goes up and down, and then into a zone where anything can happen anytime in an instant. It means the ruh is not caught in space and time. It is only the body that is caught in space and time, and the mind, and the memory - your biography.

So if you are not doing this work on yourself then you are not fulfilling the purpose for which you were created. And if you are doing it then you will reach a point where it is perpetual -  as the Qur'an describes, those who are constantly in their prayers ('al-ladhīna fī salātihim dā'imūn')."

Alhamdulillah!

Ramadan Redux III - Day 10 Stocktake

It is just over ten days into this blessed month of withdrawal and silencing the senses.There is a distinct rhythm I have fallen into, quite unlike past Ramadans. Something has shifted for me this year and I am amazed at the energy I have. Perhaps its because of studious avoidance (but not entirely consistent) of starches. Or perhaps the monsoon breezes have taken the edge off the heat and hence the days scorch less than in the past few years - not an insignificant factor. Or perhaps its because, as our traditions tell us, Shaytan  - that deleterious, insidious energy - is held in chains for the duration, while the doors of mercy are open. Or perhaps it is because the sheer intention to please Allah raises the act of fasting from miserable,  pedestrian deprivation to heightened awareness of Allah's Grace, Mercy, Majesty, Magnanimity, and Love. And because of that my consciousness is actively focused on a different horizon.

Whatever the cause, the shift in consciousness is a delightful welcome. Many times in the past its been a matter of just getting through each day without keeling over or ceasing to function, punctuated by the peaks of relief at fast-breaking and prayer, or the troughs of blinding headaches, irritability and catatonia. Given the busy household I manage, Ramadan is also about handling food anxieties, not just of others, but my own as well. Even that has shifted. Such concerns seem to have dropped away, without neglecting the important matter of feeding the troops.

Everything seems brighter, better, easier -  even with a 15 hour long fast. Less white noise, more inner silence. Less confusion, more inner clarity. Less gullibility in believing my own narrative, more delight in witnessing a vaster storyline unfold. Descending into self-obliteration in Salat seems easier when the weight of the self has been lifted and shrunk and parked I know not where. Dhikr travels faster than the speed of sound to take one to deep peace.
 
Inside a cavern has been scoured out. It is not the emptiness of hunger or thirst. It is akin to a vacuum, so silent and tranquil that the merest plop of a drop of water could be heard distinctly. This is the Cavern of No-Thought. No-thought as distinct from thoughtlessness. Even as my consciousness resides in this blissful zone, I am hardly acting as a vegetative mass! I am aware Syria burns - and it pains me. The Olympics are in full swing - and I pay occasional admiring heed to the athletes' prowess. Romney is playing President abroad - and my opinion would be unprintable. Local NGOs are working hard to attract zakat into their coffers so they can continue to do the job of shoring up civil society in this wobbly but lively nation - and I am trying to do my miniscule bit.

Yet...

Here in this Cavern of No-Thought dwells the light of Presence. Ineffable. All-Encompassing. Majestic and Beautiful. Beyond bloggable words, beyond fixed forms, a shape-shifting, bliss inducing basso profondo humming Huuuuuuuuuu.