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Its been a while since I've posted anything here. And I've been curiously indifferent to that. Altered states and all.
Actually what happened is anchors were pulled. Unmoored from the deep docks of my gravely engraved life-roles (wife, mother, begum sahiba and dutiful daughter-in-law), my galleon morphed into a spinnaker. I sped the seas and skimmed the waves. Sea spray sprinkled much needed minerals all over me and I absorbed them hungrily. I travelled, taught, explored, fasted, cooked, communed, retreated, and celebrated. A set of different life roles slipped over me effortlessly: teacher, connector, and yes, relationship roles like sister, daughter, mother (with kids on two continents that one's inescapable!), friend, mirror, partner in crime (shshsh...you know who you are!) - all different because of the speed and sleekness with which I sailed.
The deracination of travel is salutary. And I have not yet been able to process the unfurling of events. The sails keep puffing and billowing. Being and becoming have been clipping each other like racing dolphins weaving through the surf.
In my case, most of the travel I do is usually one of transplantation. The process oxygenates the very roots of my tenuous selfhood and remineralises the sensitive sheathes of sensory nerves. My phototropic radar seems to pick up more 'signs' than before. Since the brain wasn't being drained by mandatory Domestos (there's 'mandatory' and 'incidental' - one can never quite escape 'incidental' Domestos), the synapses crackled and fizzed with input feeding into other planes of consciousness. Supra-nutrients like winter colours, crisp smells, the thrill of walking as opposed to being driven, the feel of cold air on the cheek, trading in ontologies with questing hearts, concentrations of willing and witnessing...all these particles have been seeping through osmotically.
And then added to this feast was another bulge in the dimension of space-time, a bubble of intimate family time, full of tropical azures and aquamarines, fragrant frangipanis, pungent prawns and perfumed pandan...time just being, breathing, laughing and sharing. And a bad mattress... Sun salutations saved me!
The spinnaker has been reberthed. Time to wash the sea-salt off. The plant has been repotted. Time to let it settle. But I'm not quite sure which ship or plant has returned. Definition is defied.
