Ramadan Redux V - Retreat

photocredit Ban Farell Ebrahim

I’ve just emerged, fresh and dewy from a 3 day i’tikaf with three of my companions on the path, Rezwaneh, Rubeena and Rosina. This retreat came as an unexpected windfall. Some of our group had sent a request to our Shaykh to ask whether he might consider placing some of them in khalwah on his next visit. His response was to request us to do i’tikaf first. Arrangements fell quickly into place and soon the four of us were lodged in our dedicated zawiyah. May Meher Apa’s niyyat in offering her home as a place to which we can attract angels and in which to hasten illumination be rewarded by the permanent presence of angels in her life and full illumination of her being!

Not being able to fulfill the technical requirement of an i’tikaf in a mosque, our apartment was nonetheless an ideal eyrie, breezily floating above Karachi, embraced by trembling trees, cawing crows, hooping koels and a purring of rickshaws and beeping cars. Here in this temporarily designated sacred space we were able to fulfill, if not the letter of the sunnatic law, at least the spirit and as close to the form as possible. The Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and his family, used to spend the last ten days of Ramadan in retreat at the mosque. It was such an integral part of his Sunnah, that one year when he did not manage to do it, he spent 20 days of the following Ramadan in i’tikaf instead. And if the ten days are not possible, then three are considered to be the minimum. Disconnecting ourselves from each of own ‘Domestos’ or work arenas presented challenges that vanished in the face of firm intention. Alhamdulillah!

Each of us followed our own rhythm – reading Qur’an, beseeching Allah, diving into meaningful books, invoking Allah by His Beautiful Names, sending peace and blessings upon the Beloved Prophet and his family, observing the night vigil, in particular the layali al-qadr (we had 2). We made some prayers together, each other's focused presence fuelling our own purpose. Such sweet secluded solace! Safe and freed from any worldly concerns. 

Just as the local community feeds those in i’tikaf in the mosques, members of our group sent generous feasts for iftar and dinner. Our embarrassment at their largesse was assuaged by the knowledge that others would partake their share, namely Meher’s trusty and loyal staff.

For me there was a distinct rhythm to this seclusion. For those of us who were fortunate enough to settle in the night before the first fajr, I feel we tasted something very complete, very satisfying. The initial sense of privilege and elation of being freed to do as much and whichever ‘ibadah as one wished carried into sustained periods of delight, yearning and profound tranquility. I spent much time praying for all my family and friends, begging Allah to send them the best of what would draw them closer and protect them by His mercy. Discharging that longing for them all, I was able to turn to the matter of disappearing from myself. Peak periods of invocation were in the midst of the night: distinct shifts in attention, from scanning the horizon to being enveloped… beyond words.

Time became a gift – not something to beat or race against. Whether reading or resting, supplicating or sleeping, time felt expanding not just linearly, but almost in all directions, as if being dismantled.

We turned away from creation and focused on our inner contemplation and intimate conversation with Allah. At times it was hard to know just with whom one was ‘conversing’. We turned in longing. Turning, turning, buoyed by bliss.

I was again awed by the word of God and felt honoured to have the Qur’an and to be able to read it. Each surah speaking in multidimensional tones, rich, complicated sounds from a DNA’d past, other-worldly rhyme and metre sending morse code to the heart. Can we truly be of that creation which was chosen to receive the full encodation of reality which the Qur’an  represents? Subhanallah – law anzalna hadha’l-qur’ana 'ala jabalin…[Q. 59:21]

Time 'stops' and yet I am aware of time. The muezzin calls and its time to offer formal prayers. The day peaks in heat, light changes, dusk falls and night draws a shroud. I am aswim in an ocean of sublime subhan.  I can feel every cell, every pore oozing with longing and sheer delight at the miracle of being.

And though our rooms are far larger than a Sufi’s cell, their simplicity invokes the noble austerity of the khalwah chamber. Here it is easy for senses to detach from the world and implode and ignite the innermost.

And when you do discover the glittering hyperspace of shimmering lights, or just catch glimpses of it, you realize it has always been there, waiting, twinkling, beckoning.

Glossary:

I’tikaf: retreat into a mosque, usually for the last 10 days of Ramadan.

Khalwah: solitary seclusion for the purpose of contemplating Allah alone.

Zawiyah: literally corner; equivalent to tekye (Turkish) or khanqah (Persian & Urdu), meaning Sufi lodge where teachings are given & circles of invocation held.

Niyyat: intention, firm resolve.
Sunnatic: of the Sunnah (see below). My coinage as far as I know.

Sunnah: custom, pattern; the Prophet’s (S) way.

Layali al-qadr: pl. of laylat ul-qadr, the Night of Determination. One of the last ten odd nights of Ramadan in which the Qur’an was revealed and on which events of the next year are determined.

Fajr: dawn prayer.
'Ibadah: Devotional worship.

Surah: chapter of the Qur’an.

Subhanallah: Glory be to Allah!

Subhan: Glory. Root word means to swim.