Good Idols - Poem

Good Idols - Poem

The nafs of do-gooding.

Still a self form.

A better one,

but nevertheless,

still involving identification

with action and form.

Do-gooding can be addictive.

Once that becomes the primary prism

through which you habitually self-regard,

attachment arises 

to the impulse and process

of doing good. At any cost.

Or almost any cost.

Once you see this

is holding you back,

how do you free yourself?

By striking out in a Malamati direction?

Perhaps - generate self-blame.

Walk out halfway through prayer in the mosque?

Or fart noisily and carry on praying?

Break fast in the middle of the day?

How about just saying no?

How about letting go of the need

to be seen - self-seen - 

to do the right thing,

go the extra mile, 

bust a chop.

See how your nafs reacts

when suddenly you aren’t compliant

with every call for help,

with every assumption that you’ll be there 

to pick up the slack,

with your reputation for reliability.

It’s an idol alright,

a squat, lurid one,

like a laughing fat Buddha,

with a grimace carved into the face

rather than an abandoned laugh.

Watch it tremble and shiver.

Are you ready to?

I’ll give you a head’s up: it’s l-i-b-e-r-a-t-i-n-g.

Stripped!

Your soul sighs relief as your nafs deflates.

You can even hear the hissssssssssssss.

But mind you don't habitualize self-blame,

for you'd be carving yet another idol.

 

©Muna H. Bilgrami 2013

Glossary:

Nafs: ego-self. Has foolish aspirations to independence.

Malamati: deliberate engagement in actions that generate self-blame, so as to realize that the self is imperfect and become unattached to anything other than Allah; arose as a trend among Sufis in 8th C in Iran.